We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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