i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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