every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
