i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
