The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
