my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
