Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
