I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
