Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need to calm my uterus...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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