Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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