my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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