she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
