He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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