I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
