dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize