I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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