He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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