My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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