I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
