What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
