I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Farmville is her only friend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize
