and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
