My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
