It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
