What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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