Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
