he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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