My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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