How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
either way he was missing a nipple.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
