I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
