Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
