the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
