Sponge bath it is.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
