Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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