so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
