Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
