you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
