brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
