Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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