it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
