i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
