Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
