Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
