I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
