Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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