be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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