sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We have started to decorate penises.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
