no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
