I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
