New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
