i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
