their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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