Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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