Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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(712): View more from Iowa

I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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(207): View more from Maine

i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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(248): View more from Michigan

THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me

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