I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
