There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize