i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
